The Session No 78 – No No No – Lifes to short to drink shitty beer

Hi my name is Darren and I haven’t blogged for a long time. I am a lapsed blogger.

However James is hosting The Session so I better drag the old blogging boots back on and tap out a quick post. If you don’t know – The Session is a monthly event for the beer blogging community, started by Stan Hieronymus of the Appellation Beer blog. This is how it works: on the first Friday of each month, beer bloggers write about a predetermined topic. A different blog is chosen to host each round of The Session. The host blog selects a topic, and then posts a roundup of all the responses received. For all you need to know about this beer blogging concept, including the upcoming topics, check out the Brookston Beer Bulletin’s blog page about The Session.

James at Beer Bar Band is hosting this month, below are the rules.

Here’s the scenario:

You walk into an elevator and hit the button for your destination level. Already in the elevator is someone holding a beer…and it’s a beer that annoys you because, in your view, it represents all that is bad with the current state of beer.

You can’t help but say something, so you confront your lift passenger with the reason why their beer choice is bad.

30 seconds is all you have to sell your pitch for better beer, before the lift reaches the destination floor. There’s no time, space or words to waste. You must capture and persuade the person’s attention as quickly as possible. When that person walks out of the elevator, you want them to be convinced that you have the right angle on how to make a better beer world.

Here’s the rules:

1. In less than 250 words or 30 seconds of multimedia content, write/record/create your elevator pitch for beer in which you argue you case, hoping to covert the listener to your beer cause.
2. Blog/publish it online on Friday 2nd August, 2013.
3. When your contribution has been posted, leave a comment here with a link to your post. Alternatively, email, tweet or facebook me with a link to your post.

Ok then James, 250 words.

Running late for a meeting. Another fucking meeting. What’s this one about? cant remember. Must check the notes, the days meetings are blurring together. Ah its the Pensky file, no stress, I’ll wing it.

Lift doors open, there’s a guy standing there with a beer. That’s strange this is the ground floor. Where the fuck did he come from? And its 9.15 AM. And he’s wearing one of those t-shirts with a bow tie on it.

Focus, the Pensky file. What the fuck, the beer is a “insert name” low carb, made from hop barley, lime infused, marketing driven but with a European name beer.

Oh fuck this. Drop my notes on the floor. I look the guy in the eyes (well after I knock his shitty sunglasses off) and grab the beer out of his hand. To furious to speak I just stare at him shaking the beer and pointing at it. I hand the beer to the dwarf on the unicycle in the corner and grab the guy by the shirt. Still to angry to talk I begin shaking him. He protests so its into a headlock “No, no, no” I say (that’s 3 words James).

And then the lift reaches my destination. I let him go. “Life is full of choices, you sir seem good at making bad ones” I then reach into the emergency beer pocket in my suit jacket (a very handy thing) and pull out a bottle of “insert awesome beer name here”.

“Get that into you. Life is too short to drink shitty beer”

Ping. The door opens on the lift. I get out and head of to the meeting on the Pensky file.

There you go James, I count that as 28 words for my elevator pitch. Bloody hell that’s a very ordinary post. Now I need a coffee.

Cheers D