OK so its going to rain in Melbourne today.
The following was taken from today’s Melbourne paper The Age, “Pause and pick up that umbrella as you leave home today.
Central Victoria is facing a day of drenching rain and possible thunderstorms, starting in the west this morning and washing over the east by this afternoon.
Parts of Melbourne are forecast to receive more than a month’s rain in one day, while gale-force winds gusting up to 100km/h will buffet soggy coastal areas”
OK again so its raining, things might get a little wet. Thats alright with me, I dont mind the rain and the wet, it’s the bloody umbrellas that I hate.
Ban the umbrella I say. People get stupid and slow when they use them. They hog the footpath, walk slowly and seem to stop randomly when they come to shop awnings and doors to put their umbrellas down. In doing this they are slowing down other pedestrians who have the sense to walk with out the burden and public nuisance of the umbrella. Umbrellas are slowing down the Victorian economy!
They are also a safety risk. When its raining I am in constant feel of loosing an eye to some fool with an umbrella. The spokes of the umbrella are always aimed at the eyes of unsuspecting pedestrians, while the owner of the umbrella hides from the environment. Ban them I say! as the saying goes “its all fun and games until someone looses an eye”
They are already banned at the footy, thankfully, now its time to get them off our streets. Buy a coat and walk faster you umbrella toting fools!
That will do for now.